Emailed Jokes - Funny Jokes

Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the cemetery.

Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.

What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can’t understand.

What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.

What is the definition of a shame (as in “that’s a shame”)?
When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of s***?
The bucket.

What do lawyers and Bullfrogs have in common?
Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth.

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.

What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
Lipstick.